Out of body experience...while dish washing?

I just had the weirdest experience.

I was loading the dishwasher, and I sort of crouched to put silver wear in, and when I stood up it was like..

I dunno, almost like one of those dizzy spell headrush things, except my body was still moving to do dishes. 

But it was like I couldn't really feel anything, cause at one point my arm touched the faucet, which was running really hot water, and I didn't feel it at all.  

It was like some sort of out of body experience.  Really, really bizarre feeling.

It was as if I was no longer controlling my body.  It was just on autopilot, and I'd taken a step back to watch.

Might have something to do with me staying up till almost 6...but eh, probably not.

Also, my apologies for not writing more.

...Though I'm not entirely sure who I'm apologizing to..

Myself, maybe?

I'm sorry, self, that I haven't been writing more.

*sniffle* It's fine, I always knew you didn't love this part of yourself anyway.  

Aww, c'mon, self, don't be like that.  I'm writing now, aren't I?

*whipes eyes* I suppose.  It would feel better if you'd actually write more often though...

Eh, what can I say?  Without anyone reading, there's no one to please, so not really much of a point in doing it.

*sobbing* I can tell when I'm not wanted!!

What?! No, come back!

*door slams*

...

Ciao,

SheWhoMustWearHats

Overthinking things kinda sucks.

Well, today was fun.  

I woke up a little before 12:00, lounged around in bed for another half hour, and had a leisurely half hour to get ready and eat something before going off to the concert party thing.  It was really cold.

The practice was at 2:00, and the concert at 4:00.  It was outside.  The house we were at was owned by one of the people who conducts the symphonette orchestra, there's a tennis court, they have a pool with a great backyard, and, in the backyard there's this large square of grass where they have wooden panels to make a dance floor.  Pretty nice house.

We performed in the tennis court.  It was solos first, then duets, then the orchestra.  The whole concert in all probably didn't take more than 45 minutes, but it was a long, cold 45 minutes.  

After that, we went inside where there were drinks and snacks.  The drinks were soda, tea, and hot chocolate.  

For the snacks, there were lots of cookies, there was a vegetable tray, some brownies, a pan of lasagna (that didn't stay hot for long), and a crockpot with bean soup in it (which I got a rough recipe for, and intend to attempt to make at some point.  I'll write it down here so I don't forget.).

Three cans of any beans of your choice

Two cans of cream of mushroom soup

One green chili, finely chopped

Half an onion, finely chopped and sautéed

Cheese of your choice, to taste

Salt, to taste

Pepper, to taste

I talked with the mother of the bass player for a bit.  We actually had quite a nice conversation.  At some point durning the conversation, we got on the topic of shopping for clothes and shoes.  She suggested the stores Last Chance, and My Sister's Closet.  I've heard of My Sister's Closet, but not been to either that or the other.  Definitely something to look in to though.

So, the overthinking thing...since I started blogging again, which was like, not even a week ago...

I've wondered why I'm blogging again.  I blogged before because I thought it would be fun.  It wasn't really, in my opinion.

Then I blogged because a friend of mine also blogged, and we sort of encouraged each other to blog.  We made it a bit of a competition.

That didn't last long though, because to be honest, I didn't find his blogs very interesting.  I don't know if I'd still share the sentiment, but back when I was younger, his blogs were rather boring.  And likewise, I believed that my blogs were of no interest to him either.  

Then I started a vlog, and the few times I vlogged were because I watch a lot of vloggers on youtube, and I thought it looked fun.  

My problem with vlogging and blogging in general is that I don't really like sharing personal things on the Internet, because anyone can find them if they look hard enough.  Once it's on the Internet, it's no longer private.

But I like the idea of sharing.  I like the idea of someone reading my blog, or watching my vlog, and it making them smile, or laugh.  

Because sometimes I can be having a terrible day, and then I watch a vlogger, and it's just relaxing.  I can throw away my paltry problems for a moment and revel in the words or actions of another.  Sometimes all it takes to brighten my day is one vlogger making me smile.

And that might seem kind of odd.  Like, if your day is brightened by such a puny thing, then it's probably just as easily darkened with something of equal annoyance or irritation.  But it doesn't seem like that.  I don't know..I'm not really explaining this very well. 

But I suppose it doesn't really matter, after all, no one is reading this.

I don't know....

I've just been asking myself that since I started writing again..

Why bother to write or vlog if no one is reading or watching..?

I don't know.  Maybe it's that small possibility that someone will read or watch it, and it'll make them smile?

I've considered telling my friends that I'm blogging again, but they're not really who I want to read.  I don't really want my family reading either.

I'm not entirely sure why...

Maybe I feel like, if they read then I can't talk about them honestly? But I probably wouldn't talk about them in the first place...

Maybe I feel like they'll judge me, and they're the ones who's opinions I actually care about?

Eh, I'm not really sure..

Regardless, it's midnight, I should go to bed.

Lovely talking to you, as always.

Ciao,

SheWhoMustWearHats